


Though Lovers Be Lost

by Saoirse Mooney (achuislemochroi)



Series: Narniafic [15]
Category: Chronicles of Narnia - All Media Types, Chronicles of Narnia - C. S. Lewis
Genre: Angst, M/M, Melancholy, POV Caspian X, Pining, Setting: Post-Dawn Treader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-09-08 05:33:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8832364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/achuislemochroi/pseuds/Saoirse%20Mooney
Summary: You know you’re being unfair.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Primarily filmverse.  This explores the period of Caspian’s return voyage to Narnia immediately following the Pevensies’ return to their world and examines how, even though Edmund is gone, Caspian cannot forget.  The title is from _And Death Shall Have No Dominion_ by Dylan Thomas.

Lilliandil asks, once or twice on the return to Narnia, what it was like to be so close to Aslan’s Country. You don’t answer. You change the subject, not caring what you talk about as long as it isn’t _that_ , because you’re still in a huge amount of pain and in any case, the detail of that part of the journey home is blank in your memory. When you think about Aslan’s Country all you can think of is Ed. Ed, and how much having him ripped from you hurts. You’ll never see him, touch him, or make love to him again.

You and Ed had spoken little about what was coming, because it was too painful and you didn’t want to cast a shadow over what scarce time you had left together before the end came. And you had both known, without anybody saying a word, it would be the end. You remember how Ed had wept, railing against how you were both losing the life, and love, the two of you wanted so much.

The second time you change the subject when Lilliandil asks about it is the last time she mentions it; she’s managed to work out there’s something you’re not telling her. You know you’re being unfair. As your promised Queen, it’s unfair, too, for you to keep from her the knowledge of how she can never hope to hold your heart.

And why.

But if you can’t have Ed any longer then you want to keep his memory close, and you don’t want to share him. Not with her, who after all barely knew him. Not with _anyone_.

At night, alone, you also weep; cursing against the fate that stole your love from you. But what quest is there that can ever bring _him_ back?


End file.
